a meditation journey

Leo Hartong gave me a good lesson

2010-11-16T13:47:00.000-08:00

After finishing the book "Awakening to the dream" by Leo Hartong, what I wrote in the previous post sounds like a joke :

Ok, I ask myself : Have I understood it ? I don't meditate any more like before, and, may be by not doing anything, Shall I get a chance to the happy few "enlightened beings" ?

This cunning mental (or egotic or whatever) reasoning of mine, is coined as "double bind" by Leo Hartong :
http://www.advaita.org.uk/discourses/teachers/freewill_hartong.htm

And I admit after reading Leo Hartong, that I have indeed passed through all kinds of subtle spiritual traps after having been through those of beginner's (listed by Saint John of the Cross). What more mistakes will I do in the future ? I actually don't want to do anything, but "doing nothing" may also be a mistake ?

May be "doing nothing" could become a constraint - and thus an effort - for someone like me who naturally "wants to do something" ?. Ok, the most simple way is to follow my "personality" with my qualities and defects. I mean, if I'm compelled/inclined to meditate, or "read" meditation books - whatever childish attempt - due to my "belief systems" or "mental/cultural conditionnings" or ... then let me proceed until the understanding "nothing to do, nothing to search for" comes. Or, if I don't practice meditation, it comes to the same.

If you read this book, you may find that his analysis of a spiritual seeker's attempts (to attain "That") looks like an analysis of openings in chess game (gambits).
For example, if you play these moves after the classical "queen's gambit", then, you'll be in a bad position because of this and that ... Otherwise, if you have played these positions after the "king's gambit", then you'll also be in a bad position because ...

Saint John of the Cross has already given me a good lesson and Leo Hartong has finished the job. He knocked me KO.

I read "clarity" written by Nathan Gill and "The open secret" by Tony Parsons because these authors were cited by Leo Hartong in his book. Both of them completed Leo Hartong's lesson.

Very clear that one cannot attain That and that no effort can be made to become "enlightened". Actually, how disgusted I feel with this silly word - Enlightenment -.

What ?

2010-11-11T11:29:00.000-08:00

The truth is : I'm not meditating.

I have read some books recently. Leo Hartong's book "Awakening to the Dream" says that one cannot attain "it" through meditation. I haven't finished the book yet (read the 40 or 50 pages). He says that one may have a chance to attain "It" when that person understands clearly that meditation or whatever effort cannot be used for the purpose.

Ok, I ask myself : Have I understood it ? I don't meditate any more like before and may be by not doing anything, have I got a chance to become "enlightened" ?

But sincerely, I must say that I'm no more "motivated" for "That". I feel a real interest for "That" when I read books but no more motivation. No more "regular practice".

So, is there any meaning blogging here ? Seems that I'm not interesting to myself when I read what I actually wrote here.

I don't know if my actual state can be generalized as one of those kinds of a "dark night of the soul". I'm not unhappy as is the case for the "dark nighters". I feel well, I do sports, I read ...

Ok, I'll post again when I've got something interesting to say. I'm actually too much addicted to internet ... So much addicted that I have no time for meditation. May be that is the reason why I'm not doing any meditation ?

bye for now,
placido

Back to meditation ?

2010-09-16T11:44:00.000-07:00

2010 ... What's new this year ?

I haven't meditated a lot because I was busy with office work : really a great disturbance. The only thing which was interesting was Arnaud Desjardin's book, La Voie du Cœur, in which he says that "the particular is the way not the general".

That was the only thing which had some effect on me until now.

What's very strange is I'm not as much motivated by attaining "enlightenment" like before. Lot of work at office combined with other things ... I hope I'll return back to meditation.

I don't see meditation as something which must be done "seriously". But it's important to be regular. Ok, I wrote enough for this day. I'll practise right now.

"Personified meditation" concept

2009-07-06T11:57:00.000-07:00

No time for blogging. I'm busy. I'm just consumed by activities : at least I'm sometimes aware of my being consumed by the mundane activities (eating, sleeping, doing job, doing this and that).

And seems that nobody is following my blog.

Anyway, I just wanted to write that all readings, thoughts - however subtle and refined - are materialistic. Even practising meditation is materialistic. Only the stateless state is real and all attempts to attain That are ... (I don't know how to end this in a balanced way).

That said, meditation and reading books to maintain a high-level of thought are very good and necessary in the beginning (even after, it's always good to keep the childish mind on a high level). But, there comes a time when they must be disregarded in order to evolve. Like in school you must not stay in the same class doing additions and substractions ...

So, what happens when you leave all readings, theories, methods on meditation because you played enough with them ? Well, in my words, you are guided. By what ? I don't know. Somehow you feel it.

Have you yourself decided to meditate ? While meditating, are you sure that you were really the meditator ? May be you never had any control on anything ... May be the "personified meditation" meditates the meditator ?! May be you weren't the subject of the experience. Sounds crazy, but try to "feel" this concept without too much logical analysis.

The ego always thinks that it is the doer, the knower and the center of perception and a concept like this cannot be accepted. It is programmed to destroy anything which stands on its way ... to preserve itself !

Just do it

2009-06-12T06:55:00.000-07:00

“When we can make the mind calm and quiet, we will feel that a new creation is dawning inside us. When the mind is vacant and tranquil and our whole existence becomes an empty vessel, our inner being can invoke infinite peace, light and bliss to enter into the vessel and fill it. This is meditation.”

- Sri Chinmoy

"The mind has limits beyond which it cannot go without the help of the heart and soul. That is why I say that when the ordinary mind comes to the fore, you have to take it as a bundle of imperfection and throw it into the heart."

- Sri Chinmoy

Good quotes but practice is better than reading, isn't it ?

Best quotes on mind's proverbial restlessness

2009-05-26T12:15:00.000-07:00

An interesting passage :

"The restless mind is marked by several signs. It is dull, excited, or scattered, and never concentrated. Impulsive and hypersensitive, it has low frustration tolerance and is often guided by arbitrary whims and passing sentiments. Carried away by the waves of impulses, darkened by imaginations, unstable, fickle and full of desires, it is constant prey to delusions and fancies. It swings from self-pity to self-aggrandizement, from overoptimism to overpessimism. It is secretive and negative, divided and discontented. Harrassed by its own anxieties and tensions, it drifts aimlessly and is unable to find rest."

Another one from Nyoshul Khen Rinpoche (a little bit extreme but unfortunately real) :

"Rest in natural great peace
This exhausted mind,
Beaten relentlessly
by karma and neurotic thoughts,
Like the unceasing fury
of the pounding waves
In the infinite ocean of samsara.
Rest in the natural great peace."

A practical meditation technic

2009-05-26T11:07:00.000-07:00

If you have practised meditation, you know how difficult it is - especially in the beginning - to cool down the restless mind.

In this post, you'll learn about an efficient technic which works. The idea is to fully accept the fact that the mind is difficult to control and that it's the nature of the mind to be as it is. During meditation, instead of concentrating on a single thought and seeing yourself miserably drifting over several times, just attack the thoughts with other thoughts. For example, during your meditation session, say this inwardly to your mind right from the beginning :

"You'll certainly be distracted by thoughts, but for Now, you are still completely focused on the beingness."
"As mind, by it's very nature is restless, enjoy these few moments during which you are fully focused on the Being."
"Don't feel guilty if you wandered one more time. You WILL loose your mind to thoughts sooner or latter."
"Concentrate on the Being ... Please concentrate for your own sake, don't get consumed by thoughts."
"Don't get lost ... Save yourself ... Hold on to the feeling 'I am' ... Don't follow the foolish mind ... Please concentrate on That."
"Just Be. Relax ... Just Be" etc.

Friends, if you are experiencing difficulties to stay focused, surprise yourself time after time wandering away in temporary absurd thoughts, and complain about your low concentration ... Then, try this Aikido-like meditation technic (you simply redirect the mind's energy to stay focused).

In Islam, a distinction is made between lower Jihad and higher Jihad. The latter being a war against oneself (desires, thoughts ...) while the former is for the expansion of the religion. Anyway, call it "Higher Jihad", "Neti-neti" or "Prescriptions by John of the Cross", ... The message is the same. And for this purpose, isn't this Aikido-like technic a skillful fight against our childish mind in order to save it from the thralldom ?

A good link on what is not meditation

2009-05-18T02:00:00.000-07:00

http://www.meditationiseasy.com/mCorner/what_is_not_meditation.htm

and what it is : http://www.meditationiseasy.com/mCorner/what_is_meditation.htm

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a quote from "I am That", page 245 :

Q: Is self-realisation so important?

M: Without it you will be consumed by desires and fears, repeating themselves meaninglessly in endless suffering.

Most of the people do not know that there can be an end to pain. But once they have heard the good news, obviously going beyond all strife and struggle is the most urgent task that can be.

You know that you can be free and now it is up to you. Either you remain forever hungry and thirsty, longing, searching, grabbing, holding, ever losing and sorrowing, or go out whole-heartedly in search of the state of timeless perfection to which nothing can be added, from which nothing -- taken away. In it all desires and fears are absent, not because they were given up, but because they have lost their meaning.

Concentration on taste

2009-05-15T06:10:00.000-07:00

If ever you go to France, you must taste these wonderful cakes called "macarons". Sure, you'll progress in meditation. On Google "images", type "macaron" and then concentrate on each of these cakes => you may attain nirvana.

Neti Neti

2009-05-14T01:33:00.000-07:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neti_neti

[..] when we attempt to capture it in human words, we must inevitably fall short, because we are limited in understanding, and words are limited in ability to express the transcendent. The original texts shed light on the practice of neti neti as a tool to Self-realisation aka Brahman.

We can use this construct for all opinions we have. For example, suppose that you firmly beleive that socialism is better than capitalism. Then you can apply the "neti neti" method to destroy this opinion by concentrating on the following construct :

"Socialism is better than capitalism."
"Capitalism is better than socialism."
"Neither capitalism, nor socialism is worthy."
"Capitalism and socialism are both good."

Thus, as your mind can't grasp .. as there is nothing to hold on to, your thought looses its duality. Thought by essence is duality. An opinion has existence only because it can be attacked. It is finite and thus vulnerable (a socialist can always be contradicted by a capitalist whom can always be contradicted by a socialist in endless debates).

That's why, wise people don't talk much. They know that discussions, thoughts, opinions are chaotic, temporary, depend on circumstances, ... Everything could be contradicted. As Saint John of the Cross puts it, "He withdraws from thoughts that are without reason".

That's why Christ said "Empty thyself and I shall fill thee". And also why U.G. Krishnamurthi breaks all concepts ... because they imprison us.

So, to conclude, let us empty ourselves of all garbage in order to get "That" which is not vulnerable, contradictory, temporary. "Neti Neti" could be a useful tool to destroy the labyrinthinc walls in which we are trapped.

Zen jokes

2009-05-13T06:33:00.000-07:00

Q: What did one Zen practitioner give to another for his/her birthday?
A: Nothing.
Q: What did the birthday boy/girl respond in return?
A: You are thoughtless for giving me this meaningless gift.
To which the giver replied, "Thank you."

http://www.serve.com/cmtan/buddhism/Lighter/funny.qna.html

what's new in 2009 ?

2009-05-07T00:48:00.000-07:00

I received a vey good link from a blogger called "Manu" :

http://nisargadatta.we.bs/pages/books_of_nisargadatta_maharaj.html

You can download all Nisargadatta's books there for FREE.

Otherwise, what's new this year ? I haven't made any progress I think. I'm reading a lot of books which have nothing to do with meditation.

I do meditate but I don't really make any sound progress. Meditation became a way of calming down the mind before going to sleep. I mean kind of relaxation more than a spiritual activity.

Seems no one is following my blog. I should post something more interesting ...

Some Links on Nisargadatta & U.G.Krishnamurthi

2008-12-27T14:43:00.000-08:00

http://www.nisargadatta.net/links.html

http://www.ugkrishnamurti.net/ugkrishnamurti-net/Final_Remembering.htm
=> See the last paragraph. Really funny.

negative meditation

2008-12-27T14:01:00.000-08:00

Hi folks,

I have told you about my actual fascination for negative meditation. I think U.G. Krishnamurti is the extreme. Have a look on some of his quotes, you'll appreciate :

----------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.julius.it/ugkrishnamurti/docs/UG_Quotes.asp
=> Thought is violence because it is trying to protect itself
=> Thought has survived for millions and millions of years, and it knows every trick in the world. It will do anything to maintain its continuity
=> "There is no moksha, no jivanmukti, and no Atman. And there is no such thing as self-realization. Those are all lies. There is only the 'natural state'. I don't like to use your terms such as enlightenment, jivanmukti, nirvana, or moksha to refer to this state. Those terms suggest some other meanings. They sound weird to me. When I talk about the 'natural state', it is not the state of someone who has attained self-realization or God-realization. It is not something created through self-effort. This natural state is always living and spontaneous. "This happens to one in a billion, accidentally. It does not result from your effort. It is acausal. And why this natural state happens to that one and not anyone else, I don't know."

http://www.ugkrishnamurti.org/ug/quotes_and_photos/album10/page03.html
=> Only if you reject all the other paths can you discover your own path.
=> 'Be selfish and stay selfish' is my message. Wanting enlightment is selfishness. Charity is selfishness.

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Anyway, this person is really fascinating. While Nisargadatta seems very positive and punchy in his talkings, this man is just focused on breaking everything. If Nisargadatta is Elvis Presley, U.G. Krishnamurti would be the Marilyn Manson of meditation.

Don't confuse Jiddu Krishnamurthi and U.G. Krishnamurthi. The former is much more balanced in speech. To compare, I would say that his readings are more like classical music.

bye for now,
placido

1.About this blog

2008-12-21T13:18:00.000-08:00

These are the books on meditation which influenced me, I would recommend them :

1). "I am That" written by Nisargadatta Maharaj
2). "Ascent of Mount Carmel" by Saint John of the Cross

I started practising meditation around year 2000 after reading several books. What I would like to share with you is the way I followed since then and my actual thoughts. I hope that those who search for "that" knowledge would find my journey interesting.

What is meditation ? How can I progress in meditation ? How to meditate ? These are the eternal questions and there are many answers.

The method I followed since the beginning is to do meditation without using sophisticated vocabulary : "Nirvana", "mantra", chakra", "Yoga", "God" ... all these are mere words, matter to subjectivity. I had always given importance to simplicity.

At the beginning (year 2000), very impressed by the book "I am That", I started to meditate by following the method described by Nisargadatta which is "focus on the sense of being". You just try to focus on the feeling "I am" (see page 374 of this link http://www.maharajnisargadatta.com/I_Am_That.pdf ). I tried a lot, I used to be disgusted by my poor concentration. I couldn't concentrate without thoughts always surging from nowhere ...

I used to always complain about my poor concentration. I thought I needed a method to first improve concentration and then only I would be fit for meditation on the "sense of being". Counting backwards from 99 to 1 while visualizing the complementary (for example, I say 99 I see 1, then I say 98 and I see 2 ...) was my favourite method before entering the meditation ...

Even then, it used to be difficult to focus on the "being". I tried, tried ... hoping I could one day attain the ultimate state. I recall september 2003. The whole month I tried and finally I came to the conclusion that success in meditation is like lottery. I wanted to succeed by using a method and finally got frustrated.

In 2006, I came upon a book written by John of the Cross which changed my vision of meditation. I realized my mistake(s). First of all, don't seek for trances. Having trances, experiencing "profound peace that passeth understanding", feeling some weird things ... IS NOT a kind of progress in meditation. This is NOT meditation. Trying to quieten the unquite mind is not meditation. Closing the eyes and sitting in lotus posture trying to make the mind blank is not meditation.

One thing I remarked : the definition of meditation always changes throughout the years. Meditation cannot be explained through words. It's like explaining your favourite music to your friend through words : you can't. And even if you make him hear, he may not appreciate your favourite music. You can't transmit fully your feelings and with meditation it's the same. Each one feels things differently and it's a great art to make your ideas clear and understandable.

In 2007, I stopped meditation and I got back to it in 2008 after one and half years. This time the approach is different. I don't try to succeed. I don't make any effort in any direction. No method. I just sit down and let things happen. As John of the Cross prescribed, I don't search for trances. If something strange happens, like a feeling of great peace, I just shift my attention, I don't encourage it.

I actually start meditation making sure that I want nothing. There is nothing to get, nothing to search for. During meditation, I clearly boycott the idea of meditation : "I am not meditating. There is no method. I'm not doing anything particular". This way of being gives me a great sense of freedom. Some times if I feel that a "meditation state" is actually happening, I just break it. Otherwise I may go in that temporary direction and encouraging a state needs effort to sustain it ... In order to feel "something great". But, by definition, I shun effort so I break it, I open my eyes for a while and start again.

This may sound negative to beginners who like the sophisticated approach with lot of strange vocabulary like "nirvana", "pranayama", "Jnana Yoga", "Hatha yoga", "Raja yoga", etc. But even if I started with those concepts and books ... I am actually in a negative method. This too will go out of fashion and I may some day return to "chakras" and discussions like "I read Author1 who wrote book1 in which he speaks about concept1, concept2 ... I think this and that and I followed method1 and method2 ... and this is the result".

Well. After I exposed the way I followed from year 2000, I'll post my ideas and share with you. Those people bored by methods, rituals, books, concepts and all kinds of tangible matter and others who are just curious about what a guy is thinking after 8 years of meditation are welcome !